...what we may be
Support and Safety
Sharing your story with a safe other, is one of the most impactful aspects of keeping a flexible and healthy psyche. Safe others don't judge your story, are open and compassionate and seek only to understand your experience. I will listen, provide understanding but also explore choices for healing that will support you, as you cultivate acceptance of yourself and others.
Healing as a Process
Therapy is a process of healing and growth that allows another to reflect on your life experiences with you, to help you move toward new ways of seeing them, yourself and others. Healing life experiences takes commitment, time, trust, honesty and patience, and more, attributes which can be cultivated in therapy. What does healing mean to you?
Healthy Dependence vs Unhealthy
Unlearning unhealthy dependence takes addressing and understanding boundaries, healthy need fulfillment and honoring where we are now. We all depend on one another as social beings and so its very common to fall into unhealthy dependence. Maybe it feels safe to be in that space but at what cost? Addressing painful life experiences isn't fun, but it can free you to create safety and security within and explore new ways of connecting with others.
Abuse and Neglect
Alice Miller's book, Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society's Betrayal of the Child, helps the reader learn what is happening to children all around the world, when abused or neglected emotionally (not necessarily physically).
Her general thesis is that when slighted, abused, and neglected as children, we end up experiencing intense lonliness, shame/guilt and alienating ourselves and others as a result. These life experiences impact our well being, how secure we are in our relationships and determine how we provide support to our children, in our role as parents.
Therapy can help you create emotional safety within you, by confronting these wounds, so you can be there for you and those you love. Is it time to let another in and to begin to accept your path for healing, change and growth?
Explore this exceptional podcast that gives a voice to peoples trauma's, pain, suffering, alienation and how they receive support and cultivate joy. It is called the Mental Illness Happy Hour and I highly recommend it. It combines personal interviews, refreshingly honest personal histories, surveys, and uses dark humor with compassion, to normalize mental health issues. In short, it explores the conditions for lonliness and healing.
Observing guilt and other forms of fear, is the first step in releasing it, as one form of forgiveness. Maybe one choice for healing your mind is to offer an anonymous apology and exploring mercy on oneself? If so, go to Steven and Ondrea Levine's Apology Page
Did you know that one in six men are sexually abused as boys? Men, you don't have live in isolation and shame, to suffer in silence. Check out this website 1 in 6, for support of men who are sexual abuse survivors and those who love them! They also provide free books through their lending library, all completely anonymous. Maybe start reading in the myths and facts section.
The Indie Spiritualist has a thought provoking aspect of his website called the 10 Questions Series and I have found some great interviews and insights her about life, loss, existence and opening the heart to ones pain. Defintely mind expanding!
The Elephant is an online site dedicated to a mindful life. New knowlege=New choices for healing!
Find a mental health support group, be informed about mental illness, find resources at , NorCal MHA, NAMI and get help now with crisis hotlines and/or find a therapist. Sucide and parent support hotlines click here.
"What we may be"
Theordore Rozack's vow/poem reflects "what we may be", when we choose a supportive stance for anothers healing process:
You and I we meet as strangers, each carrying a mystery within us.
I may never know who your are; I may never know you completely, but I trust you are a person in your own right possessed of a beauty and value that are earth's richest treasures.
So, I make this promise to you. I will impose no identities upon you but will invite you to become yourself without shame or fear. I will hold open a space for you in the world and defend your right to fill it with an authentic vocation. For as long as your search takes, you have my loyalty.
~Person/Planet: The Creative Disintegration of Industrial Society.
"We know what we are, but not what we may be." ~William Shakespeare