What do you want? What are you doing to get it? Is it working, and if not, what can you do differently?
Therapy is about balancing our physical, mental, emotional and shared humanistic needs.
Think of how much time we spend taking care of our physical bodies. Exercising, clothing them, keep them warm, cooling them off, feeding and sheltering them, and on and on. What about your mental, emotional and humanistic needs? Do your family and your community encourage you to address those needs, too?
You don't have to wait for a crisis before you decide, for yourself, to commit to a period of learning about your own emotional and relational intelligence. Therapy can provide a safe, open space for that learning period. Healing takes time, commitment and insight. Our therapy sessions will address your concerns at a pace that feels right to you. We will focus on attending to your inner work, recovering the gifts that may have been buried under unhealed life experiences.
Joyful feelings emerge naturally from attending to our mental and emotional health and by letting go of fear and having another support our process. Therapy can focus on goals related to mental and emotional health and balance these goals with how to enact roles that you may be struggling with in your personal and professional life. Balance means accepting help in your healing process, with a shift in focus, and through a present moment stance of addressing your unhealed life experiences and/or issues. I can help!
Concerned that you and your partner are repeating negative patterns in your relationship, despite your joint efforts to resolve problems?
Feeling distressed about difficulties with communications that invite defensiveness and shutting down?
Seeking greater clarity about how to connect and stay connected using your strengths and skillful communication?
Therapy will allow you to slow things down and evaluate each person's attitudes, to garner greater clarity and understanding, explore opportunities to shift painful interactions and rebuild trust.
Understanding itself can often replace stuck patterns of interactions and we can begin to see things from above the battleground, garnering a new perspective that can elicit a new interaction. I mean, if Padfoot and Bianca can learn to do this, we can certainly be encouraged by their example! (A little bit of humor can be helpful in therapy, too.)
For very ambivalent couples who aren't sure if couples therapy would help at all, about 30% of couples are in this same situation! A painfully stuck place is very difficult for any couple, but I can help you find movement in your relationship. This form of couples therapy takes 5-6 sessions to discern what the next best step is for you both. A clearer focus can help!
Also, many couples I see find it helpful at times, during couple therapy, to do some individual sessions before and/or during couples therapy. In these sessions, we can work on personal issues you have that may get in the way of your relationship.
Changing Stuck Patterns
Creating space for understanding in families is about honoring each other's viewpoints, roles and experiences, while striving to let each person feel heard.
Feeling like your children and you are both reacting to painful emotions that lead to misunderstandings and feeling overwhelmed?
Are your children struggling with acting out and/or shutting down with family and friends? Do they seem withdrawn when you're trying to understand them?
Is your teen isolating, getting bad grades, depressed or socially anxious?
Parents' problems with their children are often exacerbated by many stressors, and these can narrow one's focus on all that seems wrong. Let's explore ways to expand your vision, create emotional safety for your family to thrive in, and renew bonds that promote connection and security.
Families are all doing the best they can, based on what they know and often feel stuck and frustrated with the shared negative interactions, knowing deeply how much they want to connect. For a period of time, you may need support in exploring effective strategies that promote your values.
I can help you and your family reconnect and find value in your shared life experiences, honoring each person's role and contributions. It can take a few months, but you can do it together!
If you're seeking support in family therapy, then you know that with effort, it's possible to improve the way we support each other. It's possible to make our families safe spaces that encourage each of us to grow in our own ways. In family therapy, I will make treatment recommendations after getting to know your family's particular situation and shared issues. Call me for a free phone or email consultation!